No Way Out

Despite all the whispering and finger-pointing, my co-workers. I held back the tears once more … while being escorted off the workroom floor. I couldn’t understand how this was happening all over again.

Why hadn’t Mr. Thomas spoken up for me? We both knew, or at least had a notion, I was being set up. One word from his mouth could have stopped all this. Yet everyone just stood by, hoping they’d see a reaction. Nevertheless. I still didn’t break … No. I wasn’t crying. Jesus Christ always took care of me. I’d been summoned many exits out the door … Still. I never broke.

Although it all boiled down to one thing … Is she a Thief? Of course not. How can you steal something that’s issued to you? Something that’s rightfully yours. I was accused of “Stealing Travel Pay,” yet I had no time to prove my innocence. All it took … was a glimpse into some paperwork.

Procedure was … File a grievance … Set a meeting date … Return to work.

Can you imagine, to your surprise, being handcuffed and arrested on your job, for a crime you never committed? Something you had nothing to do with? So much anger, hatred, and pain embedded itself in me. After all … I hadn’t even been scheduled a “grievance”. Not only was I not guilty … I had proof.

It had been over a year already since I’d been arrested. My finances had drained, I was still not back in the workforce, and no day in court. You see, I was at an all-time low. I wanted to walk into the post office and go postal … just as my fallen co-workers had done before. I felt the need to hurt someone. My anger was so overwhelming that I couldn’t reason with myself anymore. It was as though I had left my body. My life was a mess.

Moreover, I am a Christian and was ready to face Father God … not for glory … I had a “Word” for him too. That’s just how far gone I was. It had become an obsession to get even. My mind raced searching for a plan to satisfy my self-absorbed oppression. However, Jesus Christ still performs miracles today. Right before our eyes … And, we never see them coming. What do you think happened next? I’ll tell you … Three angels stopped me.

Meet Myesha Chaney…My first *Messenger*.

My Fall from Grace

Father God has blessed me for many years… I had a great career, a beautiful family, and everything within reach. All in all, I was happy. Then. Everything fell through the cracks. My life had gone from peace to agony. Why? Because, with no explanation, my mind started telling me things. Like … the Post Office was Satan and had bargained with Father God for me. Just like he did in Job 1: 8-12 …

And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? Thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand.

That was my state of mind. I’m ashamed of it now. I felt Jesus wasn’t my friend anymore. That I was alone, he had left me. When it took so little effort … to resolve this. I was in so much pain.

Even though it seemed every time I sensed a life-threatening thought … it got bow-guarded. Myesha Chaney was my first boomerang.

I was flipping through TV channels … when I came across “Preachers of LA”. Myesha was doing a segment on something about lipstick. Without even giving her a chance to comprehend, I switched the channel, saying under my breath … she just thinks she’s pretty anyway. I wasn’t feeling very pretty and was kind of hating at the same time. Only Father God wasn’t having it. For some unexplained reason … I cared about judging her. In actuality, it bothered me. So, I went back to watch.

Instantly … the lipstick thing was tossed out the window. I had jumped into a full-blown battle with Bishop Chaney, bucking up to a vicious spirit in the form of his baby brother. They were arguing about something concerning their mother. Normally, I usually went for all peace. Yet this time, I was aching for a fight. Even in the midst of what I was going through, my discerning spirit was pretty clever. I mean, if this were acting, they were doing a good job. Hey … I was convinced.

This got my attention right away because … Misery loves company. I was cheering for Bishop Chaney to knock his lights out. My mindset was … if a Bishop could get this angry, I could … Yet. Meysha Chaney showed compassion. I thought to myself … How could she be this calm, when her husband is in such rage?

After which, Pastor Chaney announced that his mother was moving in… Meysha’s expression showed discontent. Still, she never contested it. As I became a faithful viewer … waiting for a fight, the lipstick thing came up again. It was still in the back of my mind. What was that about? Even better, why was it sticking with me?

“Hiding behind the Lipstick” was a powerful conference conducted by Meysha Chaney. Urging women to accept who they were. Facing the real person inside & not camouflaging the pain. She asked… What’s got you down? … What’s hindering your life? … Why focus on that? … God made you perfect … Find the person that God created … Allow him to bring you back …. Stop hiding behind what happened to you …

As she spoke, it brought tears to my eyes, bringing reality closer. She made me realise I wasn’t the person who wanted to hurt people. I wasn’t the same person I used to be before this Career. Myesha spoke of hidden scars planted within our hearts. Stuff you know. You try to hide. Several of my bruises had come from the Postal Service. So, what was my real self? How do I get back? I didn’t know myself anymore.

There was a twinkle of light embracing my spirit. I didn’t want to hide behind my lipstick. Yet, I was still in a dark place. My 34-year marriage had started to crumble. My career was all but gone. People still had to pay. Nobody cared that I didn’t deserve this.

As mere shadows of life continued to evaporate. All blame went towards the Postal Service. Being very intolerable and not at all at peace, television had become my only friend. That’s where Father God sent me to find his second “Messenger”.

Introducing Pastor Joel Osteen

No Light to See

If not for the joke Joel Osteen opens with every sermon, I might not viewed the whole program. It took me a while to realise Father God was still in this.

Now I’d been a faithful Christian most of my life. However, Pastors weren’t capturing my attention at the present. … This was a new revelation I’d conceived … kicking the Christian concept. I was by myself, for myself and saw myself doing no wrong. How could hearsay force such torture upon me? I vowed … Somebody would pay.

OMG! Joel Osteen’s sermon “Blessed in the Dark Places” was so overwhelming. This shook me up. When he said, “dark places bring out the better of a person”. Don’t get stuck in your valley. Faith is trusting God even when you don’t understand. I began to ponder … maybe I’m going through something? Something I could awake from. Yet. I was facing all this heartache with no logic. None I could see anyway.

Joel explained how his mother was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer in 1981. How they had all been in such a dark place. He said dark places bring blessings from God. Small things would never trouble you again. As he spoke, he actually cried with me. His spirit was there. When things were going my way, I did take advantage of it.

Quit complaining, he said … Meet the highest potential … Keep a good attitude … Learn to change. Trust God … he hasn’t left you.

All his message was as though it was Jesus Christ himself speaking to me.

Dark places are part of the plan, he explained … What was meant for your harm, God will use for good. We are planted in a dark place to grow.

Assuring me … if never in a dark place, you never become the full you. I could feel the pain of his testimony as he remembered his dark places. Joel had given me something to reason with. He had given me a chance to hope … which is real Faith.

Still, was this meant for me? I was vengeful and not very faithful. Here by accident. Still determined, the Postal Service had put me here….

Joel Osteen had certainly given me something to think about. More or less, I still wanted revenge. Just how was I planning on seeking it? I couldn’t hold my head up anymore. The Postal Service had marred my name. They had to be exposed. This became… my personal war.

Day and night, I had thought after thought of retaliation. Having only the desire to pile as much hurt on them … as they had put on me.

I started to feel like this was an attack on my older age. Was this the motive for all my agony? Especially now that my services are no longer necessary. I loved helping the needy … However, I had become needy. This was eating me up …

As I sat by feeling sorry for myself and drowning in self-pity … my cell phone rang. Meysha had gotten me Set … Joel had gotten me Ready … Go was right in my own backyard.

Father God’s third “Messenger” … Carolyn Overstreet-Hatley.