Could it be possible…that married women are more convicted for infidelity as opposed to married men?

Many married ladies openly… believes this to be true. But when you compare the differences between married men verses married women on cheating calamity … We could naturally say both are punished equally. So why do married women think it’s more of a burton on them?

Nevertheless… several married women have confessed that they were surely cursed after participating in the act of adultery. They feel they’re bound toward some evil turmoil of bad luck. Just examine several proof’s… spoken directly from the lips of married women.

“I knew my husband was cheating. So I cheated. But every form of hardship you can imagine fell on me”.

“I was in a terrible accident … after racing home from seeing my lover”.

“I cheated on my husband and right outta the blue… I lost my 15 year job.

“My husband has been unfaithful since the day we got married… I had one affair… then found myself in the hospital fighting for my life”.

Certainly we could simply call this “Murphy’s Law” . But in my research I’ve studied married couples for years. Virtually every relationship allied with disloyalty… some married women will stress this curiosity “How can he cheat and nothing happens; but I pay dearly”?

Now no one has all the answers to what could be… but here are a number of reasons it seems this way to married women. I’m sure there are many, many more but let’s focus on these possible factors.

Do Daddies Teach their Sons to Cheat?

First of all boys are taught to cheat. This has been accepted in most families from the beginning of time. Girls get strict restrictions while boys are treated loose. Dad will defend his daughter to protect her integrity. He can’t imagine his little girl being taken advantage of. On the other hand he gives Johnny thumbs up. Boys date sooner, get longer curfews, and pat on backs when they have premarital sex. With all this assurance it’s no wonder men feel an honor to cheat. They’re groomed this way and feel any lady should understand.

Most women who cheat seek the rules along the way… which leaves more guilt than accomplishment. Why? Because women feelings get involved and this tends to cause self-torture.

Bottom line… It seems that married men cheat for the moment… But married women cheat from the heart.

Guilt…Another Form of Torture….

• After An Affair: Are You Wracked With Guilt Over Cheating?
  By Marina Pearson for YourTango.com “I feel so guilty I had the affair. I don’t even know why I did it. What was I thinking?” This is a very typical line from women who are living with

Was Damita Condemned and Deitrick Forgiven?

Groomed to Cheat

Does Our Culture Teach Us to Cheat?  click here

To Say or Not To Say

Ladies I personally feel when a relationship leads to both parties cheating its time for divorce.  However, we don’t always do what’s best. Many times women only cheat for much needed attention. So along with the guilt… Comes the self-inflicted prayer. You say what is that? This is the act of pronouncing bad things into existence, which could definitely declare your own fate. Yes with just a slash of the tongue we can direct our destiny. Little prophecies’ women pronounce on themselves without even realizing it.

“This can’t last forever so I’m enjoying it to the end”

“I know I’m wrong but he did it first”

“God’s going to punish me anyway… so I’m having my fun”.

We speak things into our life which could be our own condemnation. Listen to the words of Father God…

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18

So ladies if ever you find yourself in this position, either take my advice seriously… and just depart from the marriage. But never ever speak bad things into your future.

Most times we mean well but Father God knows exactly what’s in our minds…Please believe … it can easily be translated into reality.

You have to always make choices you can live with. But never forget…Prophecy does exist….

 Do Married Men have Permits to Pleasure

Does God give married men passes for infidelity? We never read about men in the King James Bible being stoned or punished for committing adultery. But we can find where they are obligated to take care of widows and their children. Maybe married men feel part of taking care of them means satisfying they’re sexual needs as well….Let’s look at

James 1:27

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

This passage alone lets us know that Father God is aware of a man’s weakness and informs him to watch his giving… not allowing himself to land in her bedroom.

On the other hand lets look at what happens to the woman caught in the act of adultery…

John 8:1-5

Jesus went unto the Mount of Olives. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, they say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

Okay so you see where I’m going? Its never been excursed for a female to run astray…She will surely be condemned. My assessment overall is… she’s still being stoned today…

Stoning? Is This Justification?

Since biblical times several women has falling prey to men in the act of adultery. But who suffer the consequences? Could our answer lie in Genesis which is the first book of the King James Bible… that Eve is the blame? After all it is written:

Genesis 3: 6-7

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

Many feel this was an act of adultery and listen to what Father God tells her…

Genesis 3: 16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

So what does this tell us? That there was a sexual act involved and seeds were formed. Generally speaking far as we can tell men only follow their forefathers.

Let’s look at Jezebel whom we all knew as the adulteress…

2 Kings 9: 33-36

And he said, Throw her down. So they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trode her under foot.

And when he was come in, he did eat and drink, and said, Go, see now this cursed women, and bury her: for she is a king’s daughter.

And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet , and the palms of her hands.

Wherefore they came again, and told him. And he said, This is the word of the Lord,

which he spake by his servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, in the portion of Jezreel shall dogs eat the flesh of Jezebel:

Let’s sum it up:

* Married women are subject to rejection more than married men after cheating

* Married women pay a higher price for cheating than married men

* Married women are frown upon more than married men when cheating

* Married women are considered unworthy when cheating

My point is this… the female seem to have always been the brains in a relationship. Men usually try to please them. So maybe Father God holds women more accountable & therefore they feel the greater pain of infidelity. …. It seems to me that cheating wives forgive cheating husbands before cheating husbands forgive cheating wives. They usually want revenge. From the beginning of man, they have never been willing to share their property which includes they’re wives…

Do anyone else have a theory? Let’s hear some of your stories, comments, or suggestions…

Do you know Why Women Cheat?

SURVEY: Men Versus Women On Cheating

Look What the Couch Thought …

Occup2t2: I have been in that spot before and did have bad luck. But I was wrong anyway for doing it. I like this article though.

Sarah: Never thought of this before, but I agree.

dashingscorpio: Anyone who has ever seen an episode of “Cheaters”, “Paternity Court’, or “The Maury Povich Show” (AKA) You are NOT the father! is keenly aware neither gender is standing on “holy ground” when it comes to cheating. Life is a personal journey.

Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We’re also entitled to have our own “deal breakers” regardless of what may be “acceptable” to others. If a person is with someone who cheats a lot it’s because (they) don’t consider cheating to be a “deal breaker”!

My parents never taught me to cheat as young man. However they did stress that my focus should be on my studies and not committing to a relationship or thoughts of marriage.

Most girls during their childhood pushed baby strollers, changed baby doll diapers, combed their hair, and simulated feeding them. Girls also got Easy-Bake Ovens along with Ken & Barbie’s playhouse. Essentially they have been pretending to be mother’s and wives from the time they were little girls. Oftentimes they read fairytales about the Knight or Price who sweeps the poor girl off her feet. Some little girls today are given princess dresses to prance around the house in.

Naturally by the time she is in her 20s she’s ready to have her own real life fairytale come true. However her male counterpart views his 20s as his time to party, travel, and date around. He just broke out of his parent’s basement or a college dorm room. The last thing on his mind is becoming his parents! The very thought of marriage, signing a 30 year mortgage, and having children is like watching his life flash before his eyes! No man grows up “dreaming about his wedding day”. There is no such thing as a “Groomzilla”.

All men do NOT cheat which means if a woman keeps dealing with cheating men she needs to review (her) selection criteria. Most likely when she has met an honest sweet guy she threw him in “The Friend Zone” and never looked back! There are lots of “nice guys” out there who could tell you how often they were shot down by women who preferred to chase after “bad boys”. “We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us.”

I’ve often said you could stick a woman in a room with 5 guys and have 4 of them on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th sits in a corner ignoring her sipping on a cocktail; that will be the guy she wants to get to know! :

Elaine:  dashingscorpio I agree with you no one is above cheating. What the problem is…Why does it seem the female is so condemned for it? Maybe your parents were one of the few that never made a difference in you or your sister’s upbringing. But in my household my brother got away with all kinds of things. Stuff like being 30 minutes over my curfew or talking on the phone after dark, got me grounded for weeks. He on the other hand joked about it then promised to be more careful, which he always did it again.

I like most little girls got dolls and things too. It’s what we got. But I never felt I was practicing to become a mother or a wife as soon as I left the nest. It was so strict until I dreamed of growing up running my own life. As far as education…I had no choice. By the time wedding bells arrived I felt as I was taught “God had sent me my mate”. You say all men don’t cheat which I’m sure is a true statement but those who do…seem to not have any guilt. Most women don’t just throw nice guys under the bus. Just like guys you have your type and so do we. Not every woman wants a bad boy but many women don’t want a bore either. Again dashingscorpio just like a man women like a challenge. If he’s not paying her any attention nine times out of ten she got to find out what he thinks is wrong with her…isn’t that a shame.

Angela: It seems men can turn their feelings on and off at will. I really believe they are immune to emotion. You’re right. Trouble will follow women unrighteous deeds every time. Just saying.

shayoutofine : Men are dogs. Always have and will be!!!!

dashingscorpio: Elaine, I never had sisters and therefore my mother treated me and my brothers equally. She ran our household with an “iron fist”. I grew up in the 60s and 70s when child abuse was legal! Seriously the only thing I wanted as a child was to be an adult! Having said that I believe parents worry more about their daughter becoming pregnant than they worry about their son getting someone else’s daughter pregnant.

The girl/young lady and her parents are the ones who end up being the primary if not only caregivers most times. The boy/young man continues on with his life being carefree. He doesn’t have to leave school during the second trimester or for the birth of the child. And if he is just a 16 year old teen not many folks expect him to pay all that much in child support or be mature enough to take on fatherhood responsibilities. The girl on the other hand has no choice as she is stuck dealing with the midnight cries, early morning feedings…etc.

I agree (it’s not fair) for parents to treat their sons and daughters differently but I believe the pregnancy issue is what causes them to.  As for condemnation of cheating. I’ve yet to hear of either gender give praise to being cheated on by the other gender!

Women hate to be cheated on by men and they call them names. Men hate to be cheated on by women and they call them names.  The primary difference beyond that is (women attack other women) for being sexually promiscuous! Men never attack men for being sexually promiscuous. If women stopped attacking other women there would be no “double standard”. You’d have both genders supporting their own.

Lastly there is a difference in the (perception level of difficulty) for a man to become a “playboy/player” versus a woman who gets men to have sex with her.  Imagine she works on the (order desk) at a company and the man is an (outside sales rep). Essentially customers/men contact her to place their orders and she fills them all day long. (It’s considered an EASY job)

The man/outside sales rep on the other hand faces an uphill battle of (rejection) until he finally gets one prospect to say “yes”. If he is very successful with “closing” large deals/beautiful women other guys will pay to hear what his secret is. They see (overcoming rejection) as a type of “skill”. Whereas the “order taker” simply just “answers the call”. No one is interested in learning anything from her. All she does is give people what they want). The salesperson has to “convince them” to buy.

That’s my theory. 🙂

Elaine: One thing you said that may of hit the hammer on the head was your mother ran an “iron fist” household. Which led me to believe there was no father in the house? Single mothers have a job when raising a boy… more than two becomes a task. Yes I do agree most parents worry about their little girls becoming mothers at a young age. But you know the old saying: mama’s baby daddies’ maybe…. Just to add to what you said I think the boy’s parents should be legally obligated to contribute until the boy becomes of age. But most times that won’t happen.

 Okay I do understand that some people do cheat. I, myself really don’t feel it’s cheating when there’s no solid commitment. Like for instance a marriage or even an engagement. It becomes fair game to me. But my issue is this… why does it seem that women suffer more after cheating… than men?

 You know dashingscarpio I really expected more women to come to the sofa on this , than men. But I’ve really enjoyed reading your responses. You’d be surprised how much I’ve learned from you. I’m definitely taking this to the couch.

dashingscorpio: Why does it seem that women suffer more after cheating… than men?” I suppose in the eyes of many women are held to a (higher standard). It’s not that men are forgiven so much as a lot of people think of them as being “no good dogs” who will cheat if given an opportunity to. Therefore if a wife/mother is caught cheating there is still an element of “shock value” in our society. We don’t want to believe that women are just as capable of cheating for the same reasons that men do.

Not long ago there were lots of “experts” touting it was impossible for women to cheat on the same level as men due to the oxytocin hormone levels they experience during sex. Some went as far as to say it bonds a woman to a man. However when I asked them to explain how is it possible then for some women to be porn stars, escorts/prostitutes, or according to one finding “paternity fraud” is approximately 30% in the U.S. That’s almost 1 out of every 3 children is being told the wrong man is his or her father! http://www.wnd.com/2006/02/34861/

Clearly there is evidence that women can have sex with multiple men and not feel “committed” or “in love” with them.  Even women in lesbian relationships complain about their female partners cheating on them.

Our society really wants women to be seen as “special” and not “equal” to men. We as a society want our mothers and daughters to be placed upon a (pedestal). For some reason we need to (believe) that women are incapable of behaving like men.

 If a couple goes through a divorce and the woman decides to let her ex husband be the custodial parent she is oftentimes looked down upon by society. “What kind of mother gives her children away?” Never mind the fact that they’re with their (father)! No one blinks when it’s the other way around.  As long as we insist upon keeping the women are “special” myth alive they will never be treated as “equal”. One man’s opinion! 🙂

Elaine: dashingscarpio, you’re right. Women are on a higher standard. With that you again brought back to my memory bank “Young ladies never do this or young ladies never do that”.  Guess it’s true…A woman can’t do, what a man do and stay a lady. So it seems what you’ve said and much research I’ve studied comes back to the theory at hand. Women must bring punishment among themselves.  Do you believe it is possible to think bad thoughts into existence?

dashingscarpio , one direct question for the Couch…Have you ever had any man tell you “he encountered bad luck after cheating on his wife or fiancée? Do men talk like women do? This is constantly heard from different females of all ages and all walks of life…What’s your scoop?

dashingscorpio: I haven’t personally known any man who has had anything like a “Fatal Attraction” or impregnated a mistress. However I’ve heard of men who have loss financially after a divorce. I personally believe even in those instances most men don’t blame their bad luck on the cheating as much as finally admitting to themselves they either married the wrong person or got married for the wrong reasons.

From their point of view if they had never gotten married in the first place then they would have been free to do whatever they wanted or needed to be happy. Nevertheless single men/women have gotten involved with psychos.

I guess you could say men wouldn’t blame the cheating for their bad luck as much as who they cheated with or how their wives reacted to the cheating. Anyone can drive themselves crazy believing in “bad luck” or “what ifs”. Everyone occasionally does it in some respect I suppose. If you were in a car accident you might wonder: “What if I had left the house 5 minutes earlier or later, taken a different route, or skipped my morning cup of coffee and so on.” or You see someone run a red light and you think to yourself; “If that had been me there would have been a cop here to write ME a ticket!”

I believe everyone wins and loses from time to time on a variety of fronts. Some people call it “karma” but I simply call it “life”. As one comedian said: “Sometimes you get the elevator and sometimes you get the shaft.” It’s the dwelling on the bad things that happened to us that eats away at us. You learn from mistakes and then you move on.

It’s people like “shayoutofine” who state: “All men are dogs” they tend to “get what they expect” over and over again. Ultimately she is responsible for the men she (chose) to get involved with. My guess is she has met some “nice guys” but was not attracted to them or thought they were “too nice”. Some women are addicted to “bad boys”.

They put all the “nice guys” they meet in the “Friend Zone.”

With that final thought in mind.  I would like to thank you all for your insights here on …TMC

Remember to … Say it … Seek it … or Sell it on … “The Marriage Couch”.

Success is only One Way… Up.